Rita's adventures in wonderland

Saturday 13th November marks the birthday of Rita’s youngest offspring, Miss Bec. When asked what she wanted for her birthday, her instant response was a desire to attend the Beerfest Degustation at Cooleys (as spearheaded by Cooleys Hotel owner Kalis Group’s recently-appointed executive, Paul Foreman). ‘Easy peasy’, said Rita. ‘Done deal’, said Rita. So that’s how Rita and Bec ended up last night in surreal-land Cooleys eating surreal-food dego.

Now for those (foreigners) amongst us, Cooleys is in Moonah. Moonah is the first suburb in what is generally classed (in Hobart language) as NCR – which = north of Creek Road. Creek Rd (Lenah Valley) is defined as the border between the world of flannies and hot cars, and the world of Yves St Laurent and BMW’s. Nowhere was this difference more obvious than last night at dego at Cooleys!

As waitstaff served course after course of the 5 course dego, it was obvious that many (most?) present were there principally for the matched beers. Totally natural for this opening Beerfest event for this years Beerfest. I’m not sure but I would hazard a guess that Rita would have been the sole non-drinker in the room of roughly 80-odd people!

The turnout was, I thought, fantastic. The vibe enthusiastic and noisy.

But – I was there solely for the food, and an interesting evening for food it was too! Along with anticipating each course, I was also extremely interested in observing the reactions of our fellow table members (four fantastic and fun guys – Michael, Nick, George and birthday boy Daniel), and decided to get a group vote at the end of each course in order to more accurately reflect the group reaction to the food.

At this stage I need to add news of my disaster of the year: my MORONIC daughter (who had diligently taken some of the most inspired and artistic snaps, ever, of each dish as it came out) decided that a picture she’d taken of herself and her mother would be better deleted – so she deleted – EVERY SINGLE PHOTO IN THE CAMERA’S MEMORY! As I am still recovering from this trauma, I can’t say any more on that subject, but suffice it to say there is no way she ever lays a finger on my beloved and trusty camera ever again!

Vintage cheddar and molasses ciabatta bread arrived first, silver served onto our sideplates. It didn’t require the oil and balsamic on the table, as it was easily the best ciabatta I have ever had, with the strong vintage cheese flavour being carried through every mouthful.

Hot and sour soup featuring Flinders Island green lip abalone, lup cheong, shitake mushroom and chilli came next, elegantly served in a reinforced glass with a teaspoon to assist in serving the tasty tidbits contained within. It was fabulous, and all present at our table unanimously voted it a 4 out of 5.

Next came the Kataifi striped trumpeter, gaufrette potatoes, cornichons and Fat Yak foam. For those (like non-drinker Rita!) unaware of Fat Yak, it turns out to be a variety of beer from WA named Matilda Bay Fat Yak! This read to me, on initial perusing of the menu, as being the standout course, but in fact turned out to be the biggest disappointment. Simply, it didn’t work. Talking with Paul afterwards, I could see what he had been aiming for – a fish and chips-style plate, but as he’d fried the fish in its kaitifi and didn’t want to fry the potato as well, decided he would pickle the potato instead, and matched that with the pickled cornichon, or gherkin. Sorry Paul, but the table rated it at 1.5 out of 5.

Roaring Forties blue cheese soufflé, accompanied by fig, prune & Beez Neez (another Matilda Bay beer) jam, white salad and pickled zucchini then arrived. Before the food came, we all cogitated about what exactly comprised a ‘white salad’. It turned out to be 2 melon ball-sized scoops of apple topped with a shoot of micro-herb! This was a great plate with the soufflé being perfectly done – no mean feat for a group of 80-odd diners, I would imagine! The flavours were beautiful, with all at the table murmuring through mouths full of food how yummy this was. This dish rated a 3.5, as the table got more discerning in their ratings as the meal progressed, but I reckon if it had been served up first it would have rated 5/5.

12 hour Big Helga (another Matilda Bay beer) braised Longford oyster blade, onions, spec, sweetbreads and anchovies was next. The boys at the table knew there was something suss about the sweetbreads, but all gave them a valiant try, albeit slowly and suspiciously! Overall, this dish was enjoyed, with it rating 3 out of 5.

The final course easily tied with the first course as regards popularity. It scored 4 out of 5. Anzac Cookie and dark chocolate parfait, banana toffee and Cascade Export Stout sabayon triumphed supreme. It was exactly what was needed to finish off a great meal – sweet and highlighting the individual fine flavours of the separate components. (See above for the sole photographic evidence of last night's meal, taken post-disaster!)

It was a late night, with us leaving at 11.40. Apart from suppressing the desire to throttle my daughter for the unforgiveable sin of deleting all my precious photos, I thoroughly enjoyed my night at Cooleys, apart from being treated with total disrespect by waitboy extraordinaire, Jamie (who, I might add, coincidentally happens to be my son)! Thanks to my fellow table members for a wonderful evening; to Tom the other waiter who claims to be a firm Rita-reader; to Alexia who runs the pub; and to Paul and his kitchen staff who provided Cooleys with a taste of Marque IV-standard food.