Mummys stories

Nellie mentioned that many funny and odd things occurred at Mummys Coffee Shop ( as it was then known - not the current, more funky, name of Mummys Cafe).

Nellie will have her own store of memories, but mine include:

*A couple of older ladies who used to meet weekly there for lunch and a catchup, and alternated paying for the meal. This one week, they had forgotten who had paid last week and started having a verbal argument about whose turn it was to pay. The fight escalated and before we knew it, they had both stood up and were taking physical swipes at each other. It ended when one pulled the others hair, and her wig came off! From then on, Table 7 was called the Wig Pullers table.

*Me giving a lift back to his car (parked outside Anglesea Barracks, so he said) to a sullen, hungover guy (customer) who told us his name was Rocky. Rocky was wearing a full length, long, black, leather coat, no shirt or singlet underneath (=naked on top), black jeans and boots. He carried a pool stick or cue or whatever they're called (you might pick up on the fact that I'm not a pool player).

It was 2.00 am; all other customers had long since left; the kitchen washed, cleaned and tidied; the till counted and dispensed with, and us waiting politely, with our coats on, for Rocky to finish up his coffee and leave. We were absolutely stuffed and all we could envisage was bed, glorious bed.
Rocky wasn't playing that tame little game though.
He eventually agreed to my offer of a lift to drop him at his car en route to dropping my fellow waitress, Fiona, home in Fitzroy Gardens.

We got to Anglesea Barracks. No car at all in sight. What a surprise! Fiona is WAY over the whole thing by now. "Drop me off, can you" she says tersely so I drop her off just round the corner in Fitzroy Gardens, and am left with Rocky.

Rocky then says he thinks his car is near the school (presumably Albuera Street) so I head there, driving and chatting, albeit tiredly, as I go.

I happen to glance at Rocky as I'm speaking and to my huge surprise and horror, notice he has his fly open, and the most ginormous erection I've ever seen on a bloke in my life! This giant penis is just balancing there! Inside I'm absolutely shitting myself - but - I'm SO exhausted. I've been on the go since 6.30 that morning. I SO can't be bothered with this kind of crap at 2.00 am!

I don't want to show Rocky I'm at all disturbed by this sight, or the implications thereof. So, I adopt the attitude that this was quite a normal situation for me, men did this all the time in front of me, and really Rocky, wouldn't it be nice for all of us to get ourselves home and sleep it off (separately, of course!)? Rocky replied that he just KNEW I was dying to fondle this attribute of his, but I demurred, explaining my children and husband would be getting worried about me, and telling him how tired I was.

He eventually got out of the car, and I zoomed off at the rate of knots, not giving the slightest thought as to where his bloody car was, or his physical or mental state, which in hindsight was not really very civilised of me - but, c'est la vie!

I subsequently found out that he had, prior to coming to us at Mummys, been kicked out of Knoppys for brawling and beating up staff and patrons with the billiard stick!

He came from Cygnet, and I should have been more concerned about how he would fare getting home, but I didn't. If you're reading this now Rocky - I'm sorry.

*Or the "Grease" night where we bought in the portable TV and inflicted "Grease" on all customers present! Bad luck if you hated the movie!
During the musical numbers we urged all customers to dance on the tables, which they all obligingly and happily did with the notable exception of Table 6 - a couple who were quite obviously having one of those familiar tense "couples" conversations! Wrong place for that on "Grease" night!

The evening finished with the whole restaurant (except for Table 6) dancing wildly on the tables to the tune of "You're the one that I want", chanting "Squares on 6, Squares on 6"!