Friday, 24 October 2008

Hospitality relationships

Speaking yesterday with my guru (who may well be an ex-blogger) and friend, Steve, the conversation turned to hospitality and relationships, and the potentially poisonous cocktail involved there.

Relationships are generally put on the back burner when you’re trying to run a hospitality business, or work in hospitality. That means you really must have an extremely sound and well-oiled relationship going (preferably before your entry into the hospitality industry). The strain of being on either side of the fence is also worth noting.

To be the person left at home on your own night after night, and essentially bringing up the kids on your own is just not the way you probably saw your life as a parent or partner. To be working every day and night, never seeing or socializing with your partner and family also isn’t the best way to live your life.

It’s a genuine problem for many, and over my time in hospitality, I’ve seen many relationships dissolve, which I feel would have lasted had the circumstances been better.

Before anyone calls me on it, yes, I myself have had a hospitality marriage break up, but to be honest, no matter what industry we were in, it would have dissolved anyway, as we just weren’t a good mix. Luckily these days we are now able to be in the same room together without strangling each other, in fact my ex-husband was one of the people at Yum Cha at Me Wah with me last week, and if that’s not civilized enough, I don’t know what is!
Posted on by Rita


name withheld to keep the peace said...

Yes, it must be a hard ask, hospitality.
Mind you, I've had some poisonous cocktails in my time and got well-oiled.
Sherry, pineapple and cider was one of the worst.Yes those old parties with a bowl of punch have a lot to answer for.

hrv said...

Felt the pain many a time, in fact recently too. My wife was in hospitality and it was hard yakka to keep things afloat sometimes. Now with children I see why so many bolt for the door when they can and try for a 'normal' life.

I think there are a few industries like this. Medicine comes to mind.

Anonymous said...

Would have to say that many people in hospitality end up in the divorce courts. Its more than the hours though Rita.

Its little wonder that when you are working with naturally friendly and flirtatious people that fires are lit and fingers burnt. Then there are the offers from the clients...

You mix that with an un-happy domestic situation, and there we go.

As a kitchen Troll my wife finds the demands of my mistress (my kitchen) more than a little testing. And when you are sharing two true passions, one or the other gets tested. My wife once confessed that its like living with an addict that earns cash rather than spends it.
I'm older now, and so we have agreed a balance, but I still say that hospitality is a tough mistress.


Christina said...

This is exactly why, even though I have passion, it's just for my family.
I would love to work in hospitaility, in any form really.
I love people, love a chat,love to cook, but most of all I love time spent with my husband and children. This is my greatest pleasure.
So maybe I'm just not passionate enough.
I'm always a little envious of those that do.

Christina said...

Off topic, I'm in Launceston at the moment staying with one and only sister.
Kell took me to her favourite place to eat last night, Cataract Bistro. I'd not been there before and kept getting mixed up with The Gorge and the Basin Cafe, but it's neither it's at 135 Patterson St, and I'm pretty impressed.
My little sister is not one to go on about food too much, {unlike her big sister and Mum}, but she raves about his place. And not without warrant. It was pretty great!
We had for entrees, wallaby rump on a baked apple with peppered jus, tomato,bocconcini and basil tart with onion jam, and oysters done with camembert and salmon,and tomato salsa. The wallaby was perfection, as was the tart. Onion jam was to die for and I'm assured the oysters were magnificent. Obviously too good to share though!
Mains were for me, Macadamia and mint crusted lamb backstrap on a smokey eggplant mash with steamed vegies and jus, Phil had Trevalla with roasted capsicum sauce on potato frittata, Mmmmmm.
Kell, who usually loves the lamb decided on Chicken breast stuffed with sundried tomato, fetta and pinenuts, wrapped in proscuitto, on a risotto cake with a tomato salsa which she declared delicious. Nick had his old faithful eye fillet on mash, basically a nice filet mignon. Great as always, he reckons.
Atmosphere was great, very calming and nice clean lines. Service was fantastic, friendly but not intrusive.
For the four of us $208, entree's, main courses, beers, bottle of red, coffee's. Bargain!
Highly recommended when in the North of the state.
Staying in tonight. Mexican bbq chicken with paella from yours truly.
Although yesterday for lunch Phil and I ended up at O'Keefes pub cause I HAD to have a Caesar. Bit rundown, could do with a bit of a scrub, but as always food was great!
Got to shop a little at Stillwater providore, maybe one day I'll actually get to eat!
Missing Hobart now though! Home tomorrow, but did drive past Ut Si who had a nice little write up in Saturday's Examiner. See if she's home on the way back.

Miles McClagan said...

Nothing says a Xmas party where I work like a poisonous cocktail...

Rita said...

Name withheld to keep the peace - thanks for dropping by, and I hate the sound of your cocktail of choice but I'm dying to know the results of the night in question!
HRV - you're right about medicine being another industry which I would imagine would have its fair share of relationship casualties.
Cartouche - exactly - hospitality definitely attracts people who are naturally friendly and flirtateous, so the natural progression is towards a fling, if that's the way you're inclined.
Christina - thanks for your comments, and I have also cut and pasted your Lonny comments onto my Rita's Bite web site, assuming you wouldn't mind.
Miles - Working in the community sector as I do now, the old 'Xmas party poisonous cocktail' function is a thing of the past, but it did lead to a general base level of knowledge about your fellow workmates hitherto unseen or guessed at! I well remember my own 19 year old thrill of being cornered in the filing room snogging with my office idol, previously worshipped from afar at our Hydro Xmas office party!

Rita said...

Jeezus Miles - I just remembered I saw him recently at the library - he's retired now! OMG! I think I need another poisonous Xmas cocktail to block out the intervening years!

Miles McClagan said...

Oh no, I didn't mean to bring up old memories! I worked at the Hydro for 72 hours - I was the best maps into box boy they ever had...our cocktail parties ended when someone "wrote their name in the snow" (ahem) all over someones desk...